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empty sounds of echoing boot steps hollow through the buildings as I walk through the school. The tie around my neck feels tighter than it did when I left home and it almost feels as though it is choking me as a result of my nerves. this tie needs to be loosened to relieve the tension from my nerves. My bag around my shoulders weighs a ton as it makes me feel as though I am being dragged down to the ground. feet ache with every step and pants scratch my legs with every movement as I walk towards the changing rooms. I push through the munted wooden door and Im hit with a wave of smells. 

Our changing room has a faint smell of sweaty socks and lynx Africa. I continue through the door towards the benches where rugby jerseys are hung up on coat hangers. Scanning across the room I spot my jersey, number 5. I chuck my bag down below my jersey and unzip the bag to find my headphones. “Big game from you harry today” i turn to see my coach and give a nod . I grab the case, unzip it, turn on my headphones and chuck some beats on. opening the munted door I step out into the cool fresh air.

Walking towards the field, The music keeps me in a clear head space, focused on what I have to do today, what my job is. up the steep grass bank up to the field I put my hand down and grab some grass. It’s wet. yay how fun a wet rugby ground. The field is surrounded by a rope fence and the posts tower over the field waiting for the game to start. I make my way over to the fence and jump over, towards the middle of the field. I stop at the middle of the halfway line, and look at the ground. the heel of my boot stomps into the ground, it sinks only a millimeter. Thank goodness it’s not wet all the way through and at least i’ll be able to get some form of traction in the game. I make my way back to the side line, down the bank towards the changing rooms. on my way past the north block I see the opposition marching through the basketball courts. Holy shit they are massive. Just seeing the opposition makes my clear head disappear and fill with doubt and fear as all these thoughts rush through my head about what could happen. i am screwed.

Pushing through the changing room door I’m hit with those familiar smells from earlier. my bag is on the bench and I sit down. time to turn off my heaphones and focus. the rest of the team files through the door and take their seats by their bags. The changing room then bursts into life as everyone starts to talk but I keep quiet and try to clear my busy head from all the thoughts that could mess me up. The coaches make their way into the changing rooms and tell us we’ve got fifteen minutes to get changed and out on the field. So I grab my bag out from under the bench I get out my shorts, socks and skins. I loosen the tie around my neck which loosens the tension in my head knowing that i dont have to wear those stupid dress clothes for a while at least. I change into shorts, socks and skins then i chuck the number 5 jersey over top. The feeling of throwing that number 5 jersey on is something different. it feels like i am finally good enough to play for MAC’s top rugby team and it is an indescribable feeling. But i keep that clear mind and show none of the joy with a straight face. grabing my boots out of my bag, I slip my feet into them and tie up the laces. With the final part of my gear on i grab the black tape and secure my laces and socks.

The coaches walk back into the room and address us as a group, telling us we’re off up to the field for our pre game warm up. We all stand up and slowly head out the door to our home turf. i head off for a warm up run and do some stretches and see the opposition marching onto the field. all i can feel is my nerves start to race again. I try not to look there way but I can’t help but find out who is my opposite number and low and behold it’s a tall and built guy, he is huge. The fear now starts to step in and I know I’m so screwed. Coach calls us in and we finish out the rest of our warm up with some passing drills and tackle drills before we head back to the changing rooms for the last time before the game. We all jog back as a group. I can still feel the presence of the nerves and I can do nothing to escape their eerie presence in the back of my mind. We all file into the changing rooms and huddle up as a team. the coaches start to talk but i’m not listening as i’m trying to clear my head for the last time. I hear only one thing from the coaches,” being nervous is you just being human if your not nervous there’s something wrong.” 

The coaches walk out of the changing rooms and we all close the huddle back up. I keep my head down. The leaders start to speak up about stuff like we can do well if we do our jobs right. I stand there just staring blankly at the floor listening to what they say. We get the signal it’s time to go. we file out of the door and on our way out we all slap the peak logo above the door frame.marching across the basketball courts and behind the north block up to the field, All i can hear is the sound of rugby boots on the concrete and see only straight concentrated faces plastered across the team. i  jog onto the field with the rest of the team. We do our huddle in the middle of the field and I can no longer feel the nerves in the back of my mind. It seems as though my head has cleared and I just feel set on playing the game. We do our thing and get set into position for kick off. i ready myself and let my talents take over nothing else to stop me not even my doubt. ready standing on the field with no fear, no nerves, just me clear headed and i’m ready for a fight.